American Passtime or America Jr. Passtime?

How in the hell does the American World baseball team lose to the American Jr. (aka Canadian) World baseball team?

From Fox Sports:
"Jason Varitek's 448-foot grand slam helped bring the United States back from an 8-0 deficit, but a Canadian team made up largely of minor leaguers held on."

What? What in the shit is going on here. We invented this shit. As we did with basketball... and [American] football for that matter. Wait a second here - are we only the best at sports we invent? Hmm... What sports do we dominate that we didn't come up with ourselves? Soccer? Not quite. Hockey? I don't think so. Track events? Hardly. Wrestling? Not even close. And now that the world is starting to catch on to baseball and basketball we can only fear that football is next to go. We're going to end up bringing freedom to the Iraqis only to have them whoop our ass in international football competition five years down the road.

We need a new sport and we need it quick. Based on the ADD culture of our country, we need something that's fast paced, but we also need something that's brutal enough that there's the possibility of somebody getting paralyzed during competition. My vote is dodgeball. Yes there was just recently a great movie out about dodgeball, and yes that's part of the reason I make the suggestion, but the real reason I think this would work is because American kids have grown up playing dodgeball for years. Given the great amount of experience we already have with the game, I think we have a significant head start over all other countries that may want to step in and try to lamely compete with us.

Of course, given the parameters that I laid out above, we'd have to modify the game a little bit since there's really no chance of significant injuries resulting from those big, bouncy red balls. First of all, the standard balls used in the competition will be changed to over-inflated volleyballs, since you can get a little more throwing speed and they provide a little extra sting on contact. The other change is that would be to add a "wildcard" ball at various intervals throughout the match. The wildcard ball would be a baseball and would stay in play until someone was hit with it, and that person (by both the rules and the resulting injuries) would not be able to return to the game.

I will be starting the first such team out here in San Francisco and hope to hear from any prospective challengers.

Kopp