Unbelievable

Unbelievable - that's really the only word to describe it. My dismay began right before Christmas when I was trying to fly back to the East Coast from San Francisco to attend a graduation. In a long line to check bags at 5AM in the San Francisco airport was bad enough, but then I get this call:

"This is United Airlines informing you that your flight has been cancelled." CLICK...

As I looked around there were cell phones doing the same thing all around me and people at the counter turning would-be fliers away. What happened? The Denver airport, a major United hub, had been shut down due to a blizzard. I'll spare the diatribe on how Denver is perhaps one of the worst choices for a hub... After a solid hour and a half on the phone with United's ticketing department, I finally managed to wrangle a trip that had me flying up to Sacramento, connecting to a flight going to Chicago, then flying on to Charlotte. Eighteen hours later, I'm there. Fantastic.

But that wasn't enough, oh no. After all the seasonal merriment was over, there I am waiting like a jackass at the baggage claim back in San Francisco. The problem? While one of my checked bags was beside me, the other was nowhere to be seen. So I file the paperwork and tell myself that I can deal with it. The next day I'm on the phone with a United baggage specialist who gives me the downlow on my bag:

Me: Have you been able to locate my bag yet?
United Employee: Sir, your bag is currently in trace, we will call you as soon as we are ready to deliver it.
Me: That's great! So you found it, where is it right now?
UE: I don't know sir, like I said your bag is in trace.
Me: (suspiciously now) Trace? What exactly does that mean? Is that code for "we don't know where the heck your bag is?"
UE: (silence)
Me: Fantastic.

A day later I was given a call that they had found the bag and would be delivering it between the hours of 3PM and 7PM. And I thought the cable guy was bad. At least I got my bag back.

In any case, two days later in a twist of fate eager to show me that United isn't the only airline that can make my life difficult, I flew a nonstop Southwest flight back to the East Coast earlier today to attend a funeral. Standing at the baggage claim in Philadelphia I was presented with an all too familiar situation - one checked bag in my hand and one nowhere to be seen. Beside me was a garment bag containing one suit and two button down shirts, missing in my other bag: all of my underwear, socks, t-shirts and toiletries. Fantastic.

There has not been a resolution to the most recent missing bag incident, though I'm told I can expect it a few days from now when all of those clothes will be nearly useless to me. The important thing, though, is that I've learned a couple valuable lessons from the whole thing:

1) When presented with a flight cancellation that effects a lot of passengers in the airport, don't bother going to the person at the counter. You'll have to wait forever which will lessen your chances of getting on a good replacement flight, and you'll have to deal with somebody whose likely very annoyed because angry passengers have been yelling at them. Instead, pick up one of the airline's courtesy phones, or use your cell phone to call the airline's ticketing department. You will vastly up your chances of getting to where you want to go.

2) When an airline "misplaces" your bag be sure to ask about what they can offer you. In the case of Southwest, I was given a crappy, but usable toiletry bag and was told that they will reimburse up to $50 for new clothes that I have to buy.

3) Don't check bags. Ever. If you can't fit all the clothes you want in your carry on, layer them on your body. For years I have had a strict policy of not checking bags but had to violate it on these last two trips. No more.

Kopp