"Eff you" road list award

THIRD RUNNER UP - SLOW MERGING ASS
To the guy with the import that can go 0-60 in 4 seconds who's going 15 mph on the onramp for the (insert major toll road here) directly in front of my hyundai, which can only hit 60 mph if I roll up the windows, turn of the AC and pray for a tailwind, causing me to merge at 35mph...

"Eff you." --Show some courtesy man. Not all of us can get up to speed in 50 feet



SECOND RUNNER UP - FULL SERVICE ASS
To the smacked ass at the gas station who stops at the first pump (doesn't pull through to the second) causing me to pass him and the parallel park at a pump to get enough gas to get to class (it happened this morning)...

"This Eff's for you." --You're joking right? Seriously.


RUNNER UP - NEO DOUBLE PARKER ASS
To the jerkoff in any parking lot purposefully taking up two spaces because he doesn't want his car getting scratched or dinged causing me to drive around for half and hour looking for a spot in another timezone...

"Eff you and your effin paint job." --Next one I see is getting keyed.


AND THE WINNER IS...LOST IN A TOLLBOOTH ASS
To the woman at the toll booth who's decided to wait until this moment to find out how to get back to Chicago from Atlantic City and does so by asking the toll collector for a hand-drawn map, a voice recording of directions and a back massage while she waits...

"Eff you too." --In the day of Onstar, mapquest, and the cell phone the last resort should be the toll collector...and at 3am? when I'm trying to get home before I fall asleep at the wheel?

Anderson