Fat, Gay People Are Hating On Simon Cowell...

...and they should be...NOT! That's right, I said "not" and I said it in all caps with an exclamation point at the end.

So why are they mad? Because he insults them.

"But I thought he insults everyone, Ryan?"

Me to my dear friends, me too.

The truth of the matter is that whether you're white, black, fat, skinny, short, tall, gay, straight, Catholic, Pagan, ugly, beautiful, smart, stupid, cool or nerdy, Simon is going to rip you to shreds if you dare come on his show without any talent. Ok, so maybe he toes the line a bit at times but that's what makes him so great.

This world...strike that-this country is full of idiots who grew up singing because they love singing and were never able to notice that they have no real talent for the craft. I personally blame the friends and family for these poor, misdirected souls for not sitting them down and explaining to them very carefully that they don't have talent.

That aside, if you put yourself out there on American Idol, you have to understand that if you're not a great singer, you won't make the cut and if you're not any good, you're going to catch verbal sodomy from the cold-cocking Brit that I have come to love an appreciate.

Simon is getting ratings. You win his praise if you're good and you earn his jeers if you suck. Either way it's good television. Why don't people understand this?

Now Gay and Fat rights groups are pissed off because if a fat person comes on stage Simon calls them fat. When a homosexual male comes in and looks and sounds like a girl, he makes a comment about that. It has nothing to do with their sexual orientation, just their look. He does it with people dressed in goofy costumes and people who tan too much. Simon is not going around the streets pointing and laughing at these people. He sits at his table and waits for the idiots to come running. It's part of the show and everyone should know that by now. Don't get bent out of shape and certainly (to the activist groups out there) don't defend people who should know what their getting into. By your rationale, anyone without singing talent is able to raise a stink. "Simon insulted my singing talent." Of course he did, you have no talent. It's the same as, "Simon insulted my hair and my high voice." Of course he did, you look like a friggin' goofball and no one watching at home can figure out how the hell you got this far in your life without someone telling you how goofy you look and sound. It's the same exact thing.

As I said before I blame the family and friends of these people for the issue. If someone would have spared them the embarrassment of going on national tv and making an ass out of themselves by saying, "You know, I don't think that's such a good idea. I like how you sing but you don't have the voice they want for the show." As for the physical appearence, "Honey, the entertainment industry has very little to do with talent. It's about a look and a whole lot of marketing. If you must go on the show, please dress like a normal human being for one day. If you win, they'll strip away your individuality anyway so you might as well get the ball rolling." None of those were nearly as insulting as: "That was perhaps the worst audition we've ever had. You should quit singing immediately." or "You look like the Incredible Hulk's wife." (that last one was an actuall quote from this season)

Friends and family out there. Do your job. Be honest. In my opinion, if you let a bad singer with a bad look try out for the show and they get verbally destroyed because you didn't have the stones to tell them they're not good, you're worse than Simon and you are certainly no friend. I think the rights groups should start targeting these people instead of Simon. It's more their fault anyway.

Basically, what I want is for everyone to stay out of Simon's way. He's doing a job and he's providing me with a lot of entertainment. If you want to get angry at a show, try the biggest loser. They're exploiting fat people and turning it into a horrible human interest piece that isn't even interesting. Just because they're cheering them on doesn't make it noble. Not to mention the fact that they are basically saying that if you stay fat, you don't win. Bounce that one around your brain for a while. Or don't. Either way, leave the mad Englishman out of it.

Anderson
MYOFuB '08 - If you suck, we'll let you know.